Goodnight Elizabeth

February 27, 1932 – March 23, 2011

The first time I saw Elizabeth Taylor was when I was sitting with my Grandma Lemke in her backroom, we watched National Velvet. I remember it like it was yesterday, I was mezmerized. Since then I have seen the majority of her movies with a few left on my list. She is so breath taking, a true beauty and woman with courage and a cause (amfAR) which makes her even more incredible.
Did you know Elizabeth Taylor was the first woman to sign a movie contact for 1 million dollars? That was for the movie Cleopatra.

Elizabeth Taylor was one of the last of the great women actors from the golden age of cinema and will be missed. No one ever looked so good in a white slip if you ask me (Cat on a Hot Tin Roof).

Greek Tragedy

It's the end of an era...my sandals that I have worn almost every day (weather permitting) since I went to Greece last year have died. I put them on after ballet class last week and while I was driving I felt something snap. When I got out of the car I looked down and saw nothing so I started walking and then sadly realized that they had broken. Well, they were only about $22 but they were the best sandals ever, they molded to my feet (as you can see in the photo). So comfortable, I almost cried.

Well, if I had to guess at what this means, I can clearly say, must be time to go to Greece again!

PS - they are still sitting by the back door today, like I could slide them right on and walk out and go on with my day, but I can't. I also can't take them to the garbage can. Sniff.

Sweet Pea (Peanut)

My parents dog Peanut passed away Friday evening. Well, she was my sister's dog who adopted my parents when my sister went to college, but was really the family dog as we all loved her very much.

It was a very sad weekend. Even here in San Francisco my heart was aching for my parents and for our Sweet Pea. She wasn't sick and went very fast like my Marley did a few years back. So the memories of her are those of good times and not of a sick doggy.

Peanut had a happy life and everyone who met her loved her. Her last hoorah was our road trip across the US moving my parents to AZ. We had a lot of fun with her. I will never forget my Mom walking her on Navajo Nation after dark and seeing a coyote come up out of the bushes, my Mom looked over and saw it and made a quick "about face" and walked right back in the direction of the hotel. It was hilarious because as soon as I saw the coyote approach it was too late to make a noise to try and scare it off. I was watching the entire thing go down and from afar, it was very funny. I took a video of Peanut at my parents new home playing like a puppy with her teddy bear. I am glad she made it to Arizona and got to live in her new house for a while.

She was the best dog ever, hands down.

Sadness all around, first the family home is gone, now the family dog. Ugh.

I feel better today, but am still worried about my parents. I know they are fine, but an animal is such a huge spirit in the house and with her gone, it will be awful quiet and they will be lacking a security guard. My crying too much headache has lifted and today has been very good and I know Peanut is in heaven watching over all of us with that grin on her face that we all loved so much (not like in this photo, this was a more serious side of Peanut).

Veteran's Day

I had a work event today up in San Rafael, it was nice, but my mind was on it being Veteran's Day. I started my day by calling my own personal hero, my Dad and wishing him a good day. I was thinking about the war we are in, the men and women that we have lost overseas and as of late, in this county on their own base. The fact that the entire day went on without anyone acknowledging the holiday really made me upset and mad, I didn't know how to channel that energy. I was on my way home and as I drove into San Francisco from the Golden Gate Bridge, I saw that the Veteran's Cemetery in the Presidio was all lined in flags and I was drawn in. I didn't know how to exactly get to there, but found my way 20 minutes before the gates closed. I parked my car, got out, had a good cry and a rigorous walk, said a prayer and felt better but still have things to get off my chest.

It bothers me that as a nation this day is not looked at like other holiday's when it is a holiday itself. It bothers me that we are a country at war and people are too busy to get fired up about it. It bothers me that the media shields us from what is really going on in the world and at the same time sensationalizes the little things that don't have any impact on our lives. It bothers me that I feel helpless most of the time as to what action to take, what will make a difference, what will work, I am only one person. I do my best to thank every Veteran I know on Veteran's Day - I just feel like a bigger statement needs to be made and maybe that needs to come from me, I don't know. I don't support the war, but support those who are over there fighting in it - it is a mess.

Dad, Jess, and the entire TOP crew, thank you for your service and welcome home. For those of you who spent Veteran's Day 2004 in Vietnam with TOP 202, I will never forget that special evening in Ha Long Bay. I love you all.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Unbelievable, Michael Jackson has passed away. I believe he was totally misunderstood, he had a rough last couple of years. I feel bad that he never got the childhood that he deserved and that made an impact on his adult life. He was a cultural icon, a legend and his music will live on forever.

I remember when I was in either 3rd - 4th Grade I had a red baseball style jacket and I wanted a Michael Jackson red jacket but knew I would never get one. Being a resourceful kid, I pushed the sleeves of my jacked up to my elbows (like Michael did with his) and put Michael Jackson buttons on one side of it and wore that jacket everyday for a long time. I thought it was so cool.

I had a Michael Jackson purse, it was plastic and had him laying down on it. So funny!

I remember in Elementary School when his Thriller video came out, they showed it at lunch time and we would all try and mimic his dance moves outside at recess.

I remember when I first met my in laws and my father in law had to show me the video of my brother in law, Solomon dancing as a tiny little boy to beat it - just like the original video. My father in law was so excited to show it to me, it was incredible! Solomon is still dancing today as well as Tim's other brother Aaron (aka Optic/Rock so Fresh crew - you tube him, his is fantastic).

Most of all, Michael Jackson made me want to dance and not ballet!

He inspired so many people and his memory will live on for centuries to come, he was loved around the world.

Guruji

Last night I was in bed reading Yoga Journal and found out this happened while I was in Greece...

Guruji passed away on Monday, 18th May 2009

I literally did a double take, looked at the page titled In Memoriam, saw his photo and it didn't sink in. I looked again and it was true.

When I read the news, I called Tim into the bedroom to show him, plus to be sure I was reading it right and because he knows how much I look up to Guruji. He was 93 and still practicing his yoga as much as he could. I keep my yoga practice somewhat private for many reasons but I had to speak out about Guruji in this post. I knew he would pass on one day but I also hoped to one day meet Guruji or take a class from him on one of his tours. Guruji still is a constant source of inspiration to me. I wish the best for his family and his number one student, his Grandson Sharath who will be continuing teaching the way his Grandfather did. Maybe one day I will take one of his classes.

There was a wonderful article about Guruji that reviewed his life's work. I went to his website, it reads, "Guruji passed away on Monday, 18th May 2009 at 2:30pm (Indian Standard Time). Thank you for all your condolences and prayers. Please kindly refrain from contacting the family directly at this time. Students may come and pray for Guruji's departed soul on Sunday, 31st May 2009 in Mysore. Vaikunta Samaradhane will be performed at 1:30pm at the shala. The shala will be closed until Sunday, 7th June. Class will resume on Monday, 8th June. School credit or partial refund will be given to current students."

Namaste Guruji

For more on Guruji, check out his blog link under my "Got Yoga" header on the left.

Package in the Mail

I sent myself a box of treasures from my Aunt Mary's house and they arrived today.
Some of the items are very old and may be of some value, but not all the money in the world would ever get me to part with these things, they mean so much more to me than they could ever mean to someone off the street. I would like to think Mary would rather family hold on to these things than have them end up at some unknown person's home not knowing where they really came from you know? I am excited to get home tonight and make space for my precious items and at the same time I am dreading unwrapping the items because I know it will make me sad.
I finally got over being sad every time I passed my Grandma's mocassins on the wall in my bedroom.
It is all part of the process I guess.

Life, Death, and Reflecting

Mary Lee Lemke 1948 - 2009

When writing to a friend yesterday about Aunt Mary, I wrote that there are things that happen in life that really take you on a journey through your own self and this is one of them for me.

Why does it take something as devastating as someone passing away to make me do a personal inventory of what I have done with my life, what I want to do with my life and what is getting in my way of getting things done? I get the whole "believe and achieve" concept but it is hard to get my mind around and really feel like I can move mountains so I am trying to reprogram myself in order to do the things I really want to do in life. I don't want to have any regrets at all when it is time for me to go.

My Aunt Mary was my biggest supporter when it came to my writing. I never shared too much of it with her, but she would always ask about my progress or what I was working on and also (a funny memory), she knew I am a horrible speller. When I was about 18-19 and dead set on being a writer some day, she sent me an electronic handheld speller the size of a mini calculator. I wasn't sure if I should have been offended or not, but when I spoke to her that Christmas I found out that it was really to urge me to keep writing and not to let the hang ups (like spelling) hold me back. I used that speller and my typewriter together all the time until the speller died and I moved out and got a computer with spellcheck. Aunt Mary was convinced she could tell when a writer used a word processor to write their books and I always wondered, how am I going to sneak that one by her if I ever get anything published?

Aunt Mary was the most compassionate person I know. She took care of a man named Preston for almost as long as I can remember and before that (I recently learned) she took care of a friend of hers during her final months before cancer took her life. Mary didn't worry about what was going to come next for people she was carrying for, she made each day with them as comfortable and as nice for them as she could and put her own needs aside. She was a lover of animals and always had a cat (her "familiar"). I remember Emily, her black cat, she was a permanent fixture with Aunt Mary for so long and we were all sad when she passed. Pita (another cat) died when we were in Connecticut one Thanksgiving. It was horrible, but I am glad we were there with Mary and she wasn't alone to bury Pita. Lydia had a short life, she was ill and as much as Mary tried to nurse her, her illness was stronger and took her too soon. Sasha (because she is sasha good cat) outlived Mary and now resides with my parents. Sasha was with Mary when she passed and I believe that Sasha is a little bit Mary now walking around my parents house. Last week when we first got there she was skittish but by our last night she let me hold her, cut her nails and then bathed me and Tim in our bed and slept next to my head the last night. I cried. I think it was sort of Mary saying good bye in a way. I know that might sound weird to people, but I think that in some way she is in the cat. My parents intend to keep her with them. At first they were not sure, but she is so good and sweet and such a tiny little lady that how can you say no? She has been through quite a lot these past couple weeks and she needs to stay with family. I think that is what Mary would want.

Mary loved to write letters! My love of thank you notes and checking in letters came from her. Mary wrote to my Dad when he served in Vietnam and that created a special bond between my Dad and her even though she was on this side of the globe fighting for the war to end. I will miss getting her letters and cards with her infamous signature of ML2 ("the Aunt").

There is so much more I could write and share about Aunt Mary, but there is also a lot I would like to keep to myself and I am sure you understand. I am glad that the last time I spoke with Aunt Mary I told her I loved her and as always, we had an epic conversation - there is no other way with Mary.

Never pass up an opportunity to let people know how you feel, whether it is positive or negative. Give people a chance to make things right if they hurt you, by approaching them with nothing but love and forgiveness no matter what. As with Aunt Mary, things happen suddenly and you never know when someone you love will be taken from you without warning so make the best of every moment.

PS - had to get all of this out in writing, stream of conscious style, thanks for reading.

Pancakes

Pancakes always make me feel good. I don't know what it is, but I had to have some today. All dietary rules and restrictions have been shoved in my back pocket until we get back from Michigan. I know I won't get crazy, but honestly, I needed the pancakes, believe me.

5/31

Photo taken with my cell phone (please note, my thumb, oops).

Rest In Peace ML2

I have been avoiding this post, probably because I am at a loss for words. I have to make it though, because I feel it is another way of healing I guess. I got a call at work from my sister on Friday, that my Aunt Mary passed away. Most of you, who know me in person, know how much I loved my Aunt Mary. She was the coolest lady ever. Super smart, very well read and sharp as a tack with incredibly extensive musical knowledge. The entire thing came as such a surprise and I think a lot of us are still in shock, especially those of us on the West Coast. Mary was only 60 years old, way too young to leave us so soon. This is about all I can write for now, I know I will be able to articulate my feelings better at a later date. Tim and I are leaving for Michigan on a red eye Wednesday and will be back on Tuesday. It will be nice to be with my family next weekend.

Farewell Odetta

Odetta passed away yesterday.
There is one more sweet voice up there in Heaven to welcome those who get there.
Odetta was slated to sing at Obama's inauguration on January 20, 2009. It would have been amazing to see "The Voice of the Civil Rights Movement" perform at the ceremony. Ironic that she passed one day after the 53rd anniversary of Rosa Parks not giving her seat up on the bus - two great women who stood up for what they believed in.
We could use more ladies like this!
Odetta, you will be missed by many.

Rest in Peace

Most of you know about my Vietnamese Momma (Tuyet). I met her on my first trip to Vietnam in 2002 and she stole my heart. We had a connection that I can't explain other than saying it was magic. She made me cry when I needed to let it all out for the first time in years. She helped me heal in ways that again, I can't explain.

Just found out today that she passed away before I could go and see her again.

It was a dream of mine to introduce her to Tim and Olive when we took our big trip over to start our family. I feel so blessed for having met her and having the chance for my Mom and Dad to meet her.

Rest peacefully my dear friend, I will see you on the other side.

It makes me happy to know you have been reunited with your children in heaven.

Come visit me in my sleep like you have in the past, I will be waiting.